commitment-phobia

so,
it is fading out for me.
the heart has stoned over.
it’s just today,
but i can’t feel anything.
i feel other things,
but not with him.
it’s been five months,
that’s long.
is it an obligation?
is it a crutch?
is it a desire?
or is it genuine?
it could be companionship,
or you could say it’s lust.
there’s a third party,
a little spark you can say,
that is throwing the chemistry out of proportion.
or a catalyst you can say,
to something inevitable or avoidable,
if the catalyst never happened.
a cheap thrill,
is what will quench this unending cycle,
of worry,
of fear,
and of being captured.
but too bad,
it’s quicksand now.
easy to get in, hard to get out.